Self-Handicapping (& How to Fight Back)
We've all been there...
You have a big, ambitious goal you're driving towards, but you start to feel a creeping sense of doubt about whether you can achieve it. You worry about failing to achieve the goal, so you start thinking, speaking, and acting in ways that subtly cut into your odds of success.
You shrink yourself down to avoid a hard fall.
Self-Handicapping is a psychological protection strategy that people use to insulate their self-esteem from the damage of potential failure.
When someone engages in Self-Handicapping, they engage in actions or behaviors that actually undermine their chance at success in an effort to provide themselves with a built-in excuse if failure occurs.
Self-Handicapping is an emotional and psychological shield we all put up—one that is particularly prevalent among highly ambitious people who set high bars for success.
I believe there is a simple root cause:
We live in a culture that endlessly promotes and celebrates the achievement of the extraordinary. As such, we conflate success with the achievement of the extraordinary.
When we convince ourselves that success is only defined by the monster achievement, we create a perfect storm for Self-Handicapping.
To fight back, start embracing the beauty of tiny wins. Find purpose, joy, and fulfillment in the small—in the process, not the prize.
Your success is not determined by your achievement of the extraordinary, but by your ability to show up, day-in, day-out, and lay one new brick in your life's wall.
@Audiobooks_collection
We've all been there...
You have a big, ambitious goal you're driving towards, but you start to feel a creeping sense of doubt about whether you can achieve it. You worry about failing to achieve the goal, so you start thinking, speaking, and acting in ways that subtly cut into your odds of success.
You shrink yourself down to avoid a hard fall.
Self-Handicapping is a psychological protection strategy that people use to insulate their self-esteem from the damage of potential failure.
When someone engages in Self-Handicapping, they engage in actions or behaviors that actually undermine their chance at success in an effort to provide themselves with a built-in excuse if failure occurs.
Self-Handicapping is an emotional and psychological shield we all put up—one that is particularly prevalent among highly ambitious people who set high bars for success.
I believe there is a simple root cause:
We live in a culture that endlessly promotes and celebrates the achievement of the extraordinary. As such, we conflate success with the achievement of the extraordinary.
When we convince ourselves that success is only defined by the monster achievement, we create a perfect storm for Self-Handicapping.
To fight back, start embracing the beauty of tiny wins. Find purpose, joy, and fulfillment in the small—in the process, not the prize.
Your success is not determined by your achievement of the extraordinary, but by your ability to show up, day-in, day-out, and lay one new brick in your life's wall.
@Audiobooks_collection
"First ask yourself: What is the worst that can happen? Then prepare to accept it. Then proceed to improve on the worst."
— Dale Carnegie
@Audiobooks_collection
— Dale Carnegie
@Audiobooks_collection
I just wrote a new article.
Please read and share the feedback in the comments
Read it here: 🔗 The importance of weaknesses
Please read and share the feedback in the comments
Read it here: 🔗 The importance of weaknesses
If you stand up and do something correctly, people who care about that sort of thing would notice, they will notice and they will open doors for you, that's how the world works, don't underestimate the utility of proper action.
@Audiobooks_collection
@Audiobooks_collection
Do both.
Work hard but also enjoy life. Do meaningful work but also play. Be disciplined but also have a drink with friends. Workout but also eat dessert. Consume, but also create.
Don’t get so caught up trying to be productive you forget to enjoy your life.
@Audiobooks_collection
Work hard but also enjoy life. Do meaningful work but also play. Be disciplined but also have a drink with friends. Workout but also eat dessert. Consume, but also create.
Don’t get so caught up trying to be productive you forget to enjoy your life.
@Audiobooks_collection
"Everything in your life is a reflection of a choice you have made. If you want a different result, make a difference choice."
@Audiobooks_collection
@Audiobooks_collection
“It seems like cliches, right? Focus on the process, control the controllables. But really, as you work with these individuals you understand that this is the secret. It’s just too simple. Almost to the point where people want the complex thing, but we’ve got to nail the basics. If we nail the basics, everything else takes care of itself.
@Audiobooks_collection
@Audiobooks_collection
Son,
You know you have grown when you reach a point where compliments don't inflate your ego, criticism doesn't deflate your confidence, blame, judgment, and projection don't destroy your peace, and what other people think of you doesn't bother you.
Emotional independence is top tier.
@Audiobooks_collection
You know you have grown when you reach a point where compliments don't inflate your ego, criticism doesn't deflate your confidence, blame, judgment, and projection don't destroy your peace, and what other people think of you doesn't bother you.
Emotional independence is top tier.
@Audiobooks_collection
"Tomorrow is the most important thing in life. Comes into us at midnight very clean. It's perfect when it arrives and it puts itself in our hands. It hopes we've learned something from yesterday." - John Wayne
The only competition: You vs. You from yesterday.
@Audiobooks_collection
The only competition: You vs. You from yesterday.
@Audiobooks_collection