"An ineffable feeling to go somewhere where no one knows you and you can start it all over again."

"Standing here at the edge of the sea, watching the waves rise and fall, one by one, I'm thinking, Where did it all went wrong ?

We were at edge...I was fine with it, believing we can mend things back and start it all over again. I would have jumped, if you asked me to, and I did thinking you would jump along. But you decided to leave me there, watching me wither with pain, acting all high and mighty as if everything was my fault, my own will. Not even trying to give an explanation for your actions.  You stood there, watching my downfall from the front-lines, seeing how desperately I'm asking for help. Still you  acted like you are trying to help, a white lotus, while all you did was drag me down to hell and rub salt to my wounds.

Does it makes you feel content to watch me drown with your sympathetic eyes while behind that facade you are the devil who is weighing me down, suffocating me to my demise?
Does it makes you feel satisfied, that I blame myself for all, while you are the one at fault? "

~@Nyx_thinks

#scribble #agony #Atuneofbrokenhearts

You were my home,
My shelter from the storm.
My smile in the chaos,
My embrace in the cold that made me feel warm.
You were my soul's mirror image,
My other half, my reflection.
The only one I could open up to,
The only person I could muster up the courage to show affection.
But here I am sitting in the cold,
Screaming my heart out,
Cursing at the lord.
For taking away my one and only,
The only one I Cherrished.
My heart Wants to cry,
But my eyes are dry.
How cruel of him, To take you away,
and leave me here when I don't even desire this life of mine without you here.

If tears could express my pain,
I would cry for eternity,
and built a bridge to bring you back.
But My Dear, the living can only grieve,
they can't desrie for the dead to come back.

So fly high, My Angle. I wish you wings that could take you far beyond the skies, and eternal happiness to my heaven sent. I hope in another life we could start together and anew.....may the lord and the living have mercy, Instead of leaving me here, they could build coffins for two.

《 To My Dear......》

~@Nyx_thinks
#agony #Atuneofbrokenhearts #Death

"Say it, let's hear you out too. What was it? Did you hurt me because you didn't know that I would be hurt by your words and actions or Is it that you still love me? Tell me, should I adorn these scars that everyone has given me as my achievements? Or Should I change my skin, force a smile and act as everyone likes ? Or should I still say I'm alright?
I don't love my scars, they aren't a medal of bravery, for me they are the reminder of hell I have been through and am still waiting in. How do you expect someone to be Kind, when the world has always treated them with cruelty? Why should I be Kind? Why do I need to force a smile? Why...why every single day, to please everyone else, I'm at war with that reflection of mine?"

~@Nyx_thinks
#Atuneofbrokenhearts

"It's the worst when your words can't express, the things you wanna say.
It's the worst when your heart wants to cry but your eyes are dry."

~@Nyx_thinks
#random.

" And some stories just don't have an ending....Maybe those pages were torn or maybe they weren't ever written to start with. On Somedays of your life, if you ever have a chance to remember us, I would like to know : Am I a part of that unwritten story of yours ? Would it be different if we could start it all over again ? Would you still choose us, knowing how it's gonna end ?"

~@Nyx_thinks
#Atuneofbrokenhearts

Image Credits : WLOP

"And here we lie. Not one, two...ten...but a whole genration of silent youngsters. We gladly praise and tend to fix others. We are happy to follow the suit, and strive to be like someone else. We cut our own selves, to feed others and satisfy them. We love others with our whole being. Smile warmly to express our happiness and shed a tear for the loss of others. But, behind the scenes, in the dark, in the silence.......we pickup our shattered pieces, trying to keep it all together, mourn our own loss in the silence. We don't praise our reflection, it's not up to the mark. The other side is always greener. Fixing everything thing else but ourselves. We close our feelings in a jar, and keep it on the shelf, forgetting that when that jar breaks, all that will be left will be a numb emotion. And there is no returning.
Fixing everyone else, forgetting who needs fixing the most. [ You ]....."

~@Nyx_thinks

#draft #random.

"𝚃𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝙰 𝙿𝚕𝚎𝚍𝚐𝚎, 𝚆𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚈𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝙷𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚂𝚘𝚞𝚕 𝙰𝚝 𝚂𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚎..
𝙸 𝚜𝚑𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝙳𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝙼𝚢 𝚎𝚢𝚎𝚜.
𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚔 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚒𝚝 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝙼𝚢 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚜𝚘𝚞𝚕.
𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚔 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝙼𝚢 𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚍...𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚃𝚛𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚍 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚙𝚛𝚒𝚜𝚘𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚕.
𝙸 𝚂𝚑𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚕𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚖𝚢𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏, 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚜𝚘𝚌𝚒𝚎𝚝𝚢 𝚘𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜."

~@Nyx_thinks
#random

"Step in my shoes, stay in my head and see the world through my eyes. And then come again about how I'm in the wrong at every single instance. How I'm not positive enough, how it's all in my head, how I should behave myself and be happy and how I should enjoy life.
I'll listen to you then. My head is a scary place to be in. Overthinking is habit and so is making myself feel small. The feeling of just not being enough even if I give my all. Be there, at that point, face my demons, go through everything I have been through and then come to me, and say I'm wrong, I'll lay myself down, to hear you.
After all, it's fun and games till you are watching the show from the frontlines, but the horror starts when you are the puppet that the show undermines."

~@Nyx_thinks

PS : Most of the post are written in 1st person. So, if it's I, you are one it's written in perspective of.

#Atuneofbrokenhearts #agony

"Walking Down the road, on a cold evening, with the moon and stars looking down at me calmly while the whole world is in chaos. The streets are filled with noises, faces adored with beautiful smiles, a crew of people who are singing to their tune of happiness and the other one of those immersed in their own self, maybe in misery or living life a little silently. Putting my earphones in, playing my tunes and closing my eyes. I hope Tommorow may be a little better and my storms are little quiter. I hope, I can be a little soft with myself and have the courage to love life a little more ❤️. I hope, I find my tenderness."

~@Nyx_thinks.

#scribble

"It's 3 in the morning and I'm lying here, trying to stop myself from crying, trying to stop thinking these memories of us from surrounding my head and silence down my screams.
Why is it that He is the one who can have you, when I was the one that sacrificed everything for you?
He is the one in your heart while I was the one who mended it all. You are lying warmly in his arms, dreaming about Tommorow, while here I'm lying in the cold wishing to make it out the next day without seeing our glimpse in these walls, on the streets and the moon. What is it that he can give you but I can't? Cause, I loved you at your worst but you left me to fall first. I fixed your heart but mine still hurts. I wish, I never loved you. I wish I could erase you.......and erase us."

~@Nyx_thinks
#Atuneofbrokenhearts #agony #scribble

"When I pick the pen up,
I desire to write my demons with it,
But when the ink starts flowing,
It glides to become someone else's misery."
#random

" She will fake a smile and say, she is alright, she is fine, she is doing just fine. But in reality she is hanging by a thread. Barely making it through everyday. Trying to gather strength to even keep up that facade of happiness. She will never tell you how hurt she is because she never wants anyone else to be in the same place as she is."

~@Nyx_thinks

#scribble

《Loving from A distance》

"It's fine though, Even if the stars are out of my reach, I can still love them from a distance."
A year ago, I told you the same thing, didn't I? Smiling slightly at my weird words, you told me, I love the stars too much. But I wish I could tell you, that you are the star in my dark and gloomy sky that I keep adoring and talking about.
I'm a scaredy cat, who can't even muster up the courage to say my feelings for you aloud.
Now you are with someone else, lying in someone else's arm, enjoying your every moment, making memories. Do you remember me? Do you see our memories flash across your eyes? Do you feel like you want me there with you? I will never know answers of these unanswered questions. It's still fine though, I have always loved things from a distance, and I'll keep loving you till my eyes close for an eternal rest. Even if you are not mine, I can still love you from afar. Our memories are a treasure, I'll cherrish for eternity."

~@Nyx_thinks
#scribble

《 When I die.》

When I die,
Don't mourn,
On my grave,
Don't sit there and cry.

Light a lamp,
preach my values,
Tell the world,
About my battles.

How bravely I fought,
When this cruel world,
was against me,
when I held my own Hand,
And made it through the night.

Preach love,
Don't be submerged in melancholy.
For I had completed my journey,
Fought my battles,
Played my part in this worlds Play,
in your and other's life.

When I die ,
Don't make a tomb on my grave ,
And write my name on it .
For the catastrophes,
will destroy it,
and the future will forget me .

Bury me in a field of Flowers ,
As the seeds grow and nurture ,
My soul will be at peace,
For the life inside me will be reborn .

I'll always be looking at the world below,
Adoring my loved ones from above.
See me smile as the flowers bloom,
Watch my soul rest in peace,
as the moonlight Shines upon me.

~@Nyx_thinks
#longpoetry #Death #scribble

Do tell me how it was. I'll be waiting to read your responses.

"I don't see the point in talking or explaining myself, when all that comes out of your mouth is nothing more than Empty Promises."

~@Nyx_thinks
#random

"And just like a glass of wine which overflows when filled over the brim,
Tears fall when your heart can't take those emotions and memories anymore."
#random

"I'm a broken symphony. A guitar whose strings were thrashed by enough people whom I desired to play a melody for, so many times, that they are broken now.

So exactly what tune should I play to my hearts content to find my beats again and how?"

~@Nyx_thinks

#scribble #agony