I asked my Tesla to take me to where I have never been before.
It took me to a fitness club!
@TheComedyCentre
It took me to a fitness club!
@TheComedyCentre
π€£18π1
If 9 out of 10 dentist recommend a toothpaste, what happened to the last guy?
What does he know that we don't?
@TheComedyCentre
What does he know that we don't?
@TheComedyCentre
π18π1
Imagine Pinocchio roasting you for 5 mins straight and his nose hasn't moved an inch!
@TheComedyCentre
@TheComedyCentre
π€£12π1
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π€£10π2
I did some financial planning and it looks like I can retire at 97 and live comfortably for eleven minutes.
@TheComedyCentre
@TheComedyCentre
π€£16π3β€1
Did you know bananas are berries, but strawberries arenβt? Botanically, bananas meet all the criteria of a berry.
#DidYouKnow @TheComedyContre
#DidYouKnow @TheComedyContre
β€7
β€8
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π€£12π4β€1
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π€£11π3β€1π1
β€8
My wife stormed into the pub last night as me and the boys were downing shots of Tequila.
"You're coming home now!" she screamed. "No, I'm not," I laughed.
She said, "I'm talking to the kids."
@TheComedyCentre
"You're coming home now!" she screamed. "No, I'm not," I laughed.
She said, "I'm talking to the kids."
@TheComedyCentre
π€£10π1