I was out with my young daughter and ran into a friend l'd not seen in years.
"This is Beth." I said, introducing my kid.
"And what's Beth short for?" he asked.
"Because she's only three," I replied.
@TheComedyCentre
"This is Beth." I said, introducing my kid.
"And what's Beth short for?" he asked.
"Because she's only three," I replied.
@TheComedyCentre
My girlfriend stole her mom's money for me to start a business and now Im doing very well but as a business man, I can't marry a thief.
@TheComedyCentre
@TheComedyCentre
Me: are you two girls from England?
Girl: Wales!
Me: oh, are you two whales from England?
@TheComedyCentre
Girl: Wales!
Me: oh, are you two whales from England?
@TheComedyCentre
You have finger tips but you don't have toe tips, you can tip-toe but you cannot tip finger!
@TheComedyCentre
@TheComedyCentre
Me: I cannot talk right now, I only have 2%
Her: 2% battery, why didn't you charge your phone earlier.
Me: No, 2% interest in this conversation
@TheComedyCentre
Her: 2% battery, why didn't you charge your phone earlier.
Me: No, 2% interest in this conversation
@TheComedyCentre
Me: I can’t adult today.
Her: Rough night?
Me: No. My maturity software hasn’t finished updating. ETA: never. ⏳
@TheComedyCentre
Her: Rough night?
Me: No. My maturity software hasn’t finished updating. ETA: never. ⏳
@TheComedyCentre
Looking for a serious person who wants to settle down, get married and build a home.
I'm selling cement.
@TheComedyCentre
I'm selling cement.
@TheComedyCentre
Wig wearing, I am dead 😂😂
I am sure it's a lion that killed this guy in his first life.
@TheComedyCentre
I am sure it's a lion that killed this guy in his first life.
@TheComedyCentre
Forwarded from Music Stream (Nigeria 🇳🇬)
From Revolutionary Firebrand to Immortal Icon – Che's War, Ideology, and Violent End
Yesterday we ended with Che returning from his continental odyssey, a doctor with a diagnosis for Latin America's ills: Revolution. The witnessing of profound suffering didn't just ignite his political ideology; it forged it in steel. The idealistic traveller was gone, replaced by a man committed to armed struggle.
Read the full story here: https://www.tg-me.com/TheCuriousVault
Yesterday we ended with Che returning from his continental odyssey, a doctor with a diagnosis for Latin America's ills: Revolution. The witnessing of profound suffering didn't just ignite his political ideology; it forged it in steel. The idealistic traveller was gone, replaced by a man committed to armed struggle.
Read the full story here: https://www.tg-me.com/TheCuriousVault
A teacher came into a classroom and asked: "Comfort, how are you feeling today?"
She replies: "I'm feeling comfortable!"
The teacher says,
"Good. Ahmed, how are u feeling today?"
Ahmed says "I'm feeling ahmedable!"
The teacher was surprised. She went on to test another student and asked: "Janet, how are you feeling today?"
Janet replies: "I am feeling Janetable!"
So, those of you reading this post now, how are u feeling today?
@TheComedyCentre
She replies: "I'm feeling comfortable!"
The teacher says,
"Good. Ahmed, how are u feeling today?"
Ahmed says "I'm feeling ahmedable!"
The teacher was surprised. She went on to test another student and asked: "Janet, how are you feeling today?"
Janet replies: "I am feeling Janetable!"
So, those of you reading this post now, how are u feeling today?
@TheComedyCentre
🚀 Writers, Readers, and Reviewers — Draft Zero Wants YOU! ✍️📚
Are you writing your next masterpiece? Love discovering raw, original stories? Or maybe you're a reviewer with a sharp eye for storytelling?
Join the Draft Zero community today!
We’re building a vibrant space where writers share unpublished work, readers enjoy first-look access, and reviewers help shape great stories with honest feedback.
🔍 Already happening on the platform:
A thrilling review of Three Graves of Tomorrow is currently underway, and it's just the beginning. Expect more gripping stories dropping in the coming weeks, across genres!
📚 Share your work.
👀 Read fresh fiction.
🗣 Give and get real feedback.
Join the movement now: https://www.tg-me.com/DraftZeroWriters
Got questions? Reach out at [email protected]
— Team Draft Zero
Where every story begins... at zero.
Are you writing your next masterpiece? Love discovering raw, original stories? Or maybe you're a reviewer with a sharp eye for storytelling?
Join the Draft Zero community today!
We’re building a vibrant space where writers share unpublished work, readers enjoy first-look access, and reviewers help shape great stories with honest feedback.
🔍 Already happening on the platform:
A thrilling review of Three Graves of Tomorrow is currently underway, and it's just the beginning. Expect more gripping stories dropping in the coming weeks, across genres!
📚 Share your work.
👀 Read fresh fiction.
🗣 Give and get real feedback.
Join the movement now: https://www.tg-me.com/DraftZeroWriters
Got questions? Reach out at [email protected]
— Team Draft Zero
Where every story begins... at zero.
Me: "I was thinking about getting a vasectomy"
Doctor: "That’s a big decision, have you talked it over with your wife and children?"
Me: "Yes, we took a vote and they’re in favour of it, 17 to 2"
@TheComedyCentre
Doctor: "That’s a big decision, have you talked it over with your wife and children?"
Me: "Yes, we took a vote and they’re in favour of it, 17 to 2"
@TheComedyCentre