Forwarded from Chronic Pain Memes
Chronic Pain Memes now has a chat for complaining and memeing.
www.tg-me.com/chronicpainchat
www.tg-me.com/chronicpainchat
TL;DR Send me cats, funny stuff, aesthetically pleasing stuff. I need it.
CN dentist
.
I was at the dentist today and I have dentalphobia. I mean, I sedated myself, but I still deserve all the cat content and pleasant imagery and memes now.
It was a fucking root canal treatment plus another thing. Someone send uplifting funsies please.
.
End CN dentist
CN dentist
.
I was at the dentist today and I have dentalphobia. I mean, I sedated myself, but I still deserve all the cat content and pleasant imagery and memes now.
It was a fucking root canal treatment plus another thing. Someone send uplifting funsies please.
.
End CN dentist
Can someone translate a sentence to one of the following languages for me please? It's for a non-profit art project to help a friend out. I'd be glad if someone could help.
I can use these languages:
- Moroccan Arabic
- Punjabi
- Tagalog
- Hindi
Comment here or send a message to @mentalmalware if you'd rather stay anonymous.
A forward to other channels is welcome!
I can use these languages:
- Moroccan Arabic
- Punjabi
- Tagalog
- Hindi
Comment here or send a message to @mentalmalware if you'd rather stay anonymous.
A forward to other channels is welcome!
(it kind of is an insult to pigs... they are nice and sociable.)
Memes & Sundry
Photo
CN mental health, personal view, basics on handling mental health and disagreements - LONG TEXT - RANT
I speak from years of experience as a mediator as well as someone struggling with mental health.
Disagreement & argument handling guide included
-
Please read it to the end.
Personality disorders are no excuse for abusive behavior, ever, neither does a personality disorder inherently mean someone will show abusive behavior.
Stop saying people with personality disorders must be abusive. This is a harmful stereotype.
Stop labelling every asshole with a personality disorder they possibly don't even have. It is extremely harmful to those who have one. Assholes are assholes - that's it. Yes, there is an overlap, but we can reduce it.
And if you do have a personality disorder and show abusive or overstepping behavior - I know there is no cure-all, I know that there is no magic pill to make it go away. You decide yourself whether you make it part of your identity or not, that is not for me or anyone else to say - define yourself with it or not, whatsver is beneficial to you at the time, and yes, that can change. It is not something inherently bad that has to be erased, not at all, but abusive and overstepping behavior can and should be worked on, and reaching out for help in working on it is beneficial.
When it comes to mental health, mutual aid is key. Communicatiom is key. Something bothers you? Say it. Someone tells you that your behavior is bothering them or harmful even? Consider whether the statement makes sense, if you are not sure ask trusted friends, or anyone really, and if you come to the conclusion that they have a point, try finding a way to work on it - as a joined effort in best case.
And those who do not have a personality "disorder" - honestly, in my opinion it is a difference in wiring, not a disorder, but this is explicitly my own opinion and you do not have to agree - please, be patient.
Disagreement first-aid kit for everyone, no matter a diagnosis or no diagnosis
1. Assess your emotions. Use an emotions wheel or conversation with a trusted individual if need be. Find out what bothers you.
2. Think about the change necessary for healthy contact to be sustainable.
3. Communicate your needs and boundaries in a non-offensive way. Do acknowledge what the other party/ies perceive as their reality as well. In very strong disagreements with important people do not shy away from reaching out for help.
By this I mean using "I-Statements" instead of accusing-sounding "you" ones.
Note: This does not go for situations of extreme violence. Sometimes ghosting is the only option if someone is too harmful. Think about who deserves communication, who deserves an answer and who deserves nothing at all. This is a very personal decision.
Bad:
"You did this thing and made me feel bad." (Sounds accusing and is not leading to progress.)
Better:
"If [thing that happened] then I feel [emotion - really use an emotion, not a verb] because I need [change] to feel safe/comfortable around you."
4. Assessment.
Is the reaction aggressive? Consider disengaging for a while and talking about it later. Consider getting assistance from someone if needed, optimally trusted by everyone involved to not create a situation where someone feels cornered. Try to talk it out. If you see no progress and it harms your mental health, create some distance.
5. Continued assessment
Does the behavior improve? Is the communication improving? If you are not sure, again, get assistance. Friends, family, comrades, therapists (if trusted one available)...
6. Success or no contact.
If you have succeeded, congratulations! This is not an easy task and you can be proud of yourself. Consider communicating your appreciation, it goes a long way in supporting anyone with or without diagnosis in bettering their communication skills.
I speak from years of experience as a mediator as well as someone struggling with mental health.
Disagreement & argument handling guide included
-
Please read it to the end.
Personality disorders are no excuse for abusive behavior, ever, neither does a personality disorder inherently mean someone will show abusive behavior.
Stop saying people with personality disorders must be abusive. This is a harmful stereotype.
Stop labelling every asshole with a personality disorder they possibly don't even have. It is extremely harmful to those who have one. Assholes are assholes - that's it. Yes, there is an overlap, but we can reduce it.
And if you do have a personality disorder and show abusive or overstepping behavior - I know there is no cure-all, I know that there is no magic pill to make it go away. You decide yourself whether you make it part of your identity or not, that is not for me or anyone else to say - define yourself with it or not, whatsver is beneficial to you at the time, and yes, that can change. It is not something inherently bad that has to be erased, not at all, but abusive and overstepping behavior can and should be worked on, and reaching out for help in working on it is beneficial.
When it comes to mental health, mutual aid is key. Communicatiom is key. Something bothers you? Say it. Someone tells you that your behavior is bothering them or harmful even? Consider whether the statement makes sense, if you are not sure ask trusted friends, or anyone really, and if you come to the conclusion that they have a point, try finding a way to work on it - as a joined effort in best case.
And those who do not have a personality "disorder" - honestly, in my opinion it is a difference in wiring, not a disorder, but this is explicitly my own opinion and you do not have to agree - please, be patient.
Disagreement first-aid kit for everyone, no matter a diagnosis or no diagnosis
1. Assess your emotions. Use an emotions wheel or conversation with a trusted individual if need be. Find out what bothers you.
2. Think about the change necessary for healthy contact to be sustainable.
3. Communicate your needs and boundaries in a non-offensive way. Do acknowledge what the other party/ies perceive as their reality as well. In very strong disagreements with important people do not shy away from reaching out for help.
By this I mean using "I-Statements" instead of accusing-sounding "you" ones.
Note: This does not go for situations of extreme violence. Sometimes ghosting is the only option if someone is too harmful. Think about who deserves communication, who deserves an answer and who deserves nothing at all. This is a very personal decision.
Bad:
"You did this thing and made me feel bad." (Sounds accusing and is not leading to progress.)
Better:
"If [thing that happened] then I feel [emotion - really use an emotion, not a verb] because I need [change] to feel safe/comfortable around you."
4. Assessment.
Is the reaction aggressive? Consider disengaging for a while and talking about it later. Consider getting assistance from someone if needed, optimally trusted by everyone involved to not create a situation where someone feels cornered. Try to talk it out. If you see no progress and it harms your mental health, create some distance.
5. Continued assessment
Does the behavior improve? Is the communication improving? If you are not sure, again, get assistance. Friends, family, comrades, therapists (if trusted one available)...
6. Success or no contact.
If you have succeeded, congratulations! This is not an easy task and you can be proud of yourself. Consider communicating your appreciation, it goes a long way in supporting anyone with or without diagnosis in bettering their communication skills.
👍1
Memes & Sundry
Photo
If you have not succeeded, take steps to ensure your well-being. Try to be mindful of the other parties well-being in doing so if you and possibly your trusted contacts believe it is the right thing to do. If you need to ghost someone to keep your mental health in check, by all means, do it - you owe nobody selfdestruction for their benefit. Ever. Respect your needs if others won't.
Communication is hard. Cutting contact also is. But if those willing to put effort in do so we can come a long way.
This does explicitly exclude anyone who hatefully discriminates against you for things you cannot change no matter what. Some people cannot be argued with, should not be argued with, are not worth your time and energy.
Never ever tell someone they need to listen to someone denying their right to exist or their humanity for external qualities or something some piece of paper claims about them. You do not decide on boundaries of others.
This got long, thanks for reading it all if you did, it means a lot to me.
End CN mental health
Communication is hard. Cutting contact also is. But if those willing to put effort in do so we can come a long way.
This does explicitly exclude anyone who hatefully discriminates against you for things you cannot change no matter what. Some people cannot be argued with, should not be argued with, are not worth your time and energy.
Never ever tell someone they need to listen to someone denying their right to exist or their humanity for external qualities or something some piece of paper claims about them. You do not decide on boundaries of others.
This got long, thanks for reading it all if you did, it means a lot to me.
End CN mental health
👍1