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Gumbus faces
Forwarded from Unhinged_Raccoon
The year is 2050
After the great Tylenol prohibition of 2026, scientists discovered that Tylenol didn't cause autism; it was the only thing preventing autism. With the absence of Tylenol, 90% of people assigned male at birth became transgender puppy girls with a praise kink. 90% of people assigned female at birth became cat boys who were obsessed with anime and insects.
Almost everyone had to move to the Midwest due to it being more resistant to climate change. I live inside of a semiconductor fab outside of Stow, Ohio. I have a little raccoon cyborg nest on one of the tool platforms. Due to the labor shortage associated with almost everyone becoming transgender puppy girls or cat boys who hate j_bs (this is the worst slur you can say now), the company locked us in the fab to make chips indefinitely. There is fresh water and feeding pellets in the fab to keep me alive.
One day, a puppy girl walks into the fab and approaches my tool nest. I start angrily chittering at her but she still keeps approaching me. I muster up the mental energy to speak (which I haven't done in years since there was no one else to speak to).
"What are you doing to my wafers?!?" I growl out while flaring my metallic fangs.
"Pweas miss clit magnet waccoon giwl I need youw help." She says pleadingly to me.
“What?!?” I reply, “How do you know about this? No one has called me that in over 20 years."
*My mind flashes back to 2030.*
*Upon going through his private journal, it is discovered that Charlie Kirk was secretly a terminally online transgender puppy girl. Sometimes even during debates, he would post "Arf Arf Arf Arf" to his secret tumblr account then promptly return to promoting violence against minorities.*
*According to President Newsom, anyone who made fun of his death was mocking a poor trans woman (and they were now politically acceptable again as long as they abided by strict social norms) so I got banned from the internet along with countless other people. Trump supporters all died in a mass suicide ritual after Trump croaked on April 20th of 2026. It was just me in an almost lifeless factory up until I encountered this puppy girl.*
*the scene flashes back to the present*
I need youw help miss waccoon giwl. My mommy, she went cwazy.
*The puppy girl explains to you how her mother is transmedicalist woman from Stow, Ohio you pissed off on the internet all those years ago. After the Skyline Chili fire killed her chaser boyfriend, she became obsessed with technology and eventually became the CEO of TSMC (Transexual Semiconductor Medicalist Corporation). With the massive wealth she amounted, she became the first transgender woman to have biological children. However, without the sweet Tylenol to prevent autism, her son became the transgender puppy girl standing in front of me in the semiconductor fab. Her mother, Stow Ohio Oneesan, went mad after her only son became a cursed puppy girl.*
To be continued….
After the great Tylenol prohibition of 2026, scientists discovered that Tylenol didn't cause autism; it was the only thing preventing autism. With the absence of Tylenol, 90% of people assigned male at birth became transgender puppy girls with a praise kink. 90% of people assigned female at birth became cat boys who were obsessed with anime and insects.
Almost everyone had to move to the Midwest due to it being more resistant to climate change. I live inside of a semiconductor fab outside of Stow, Ohio. I have a little raccoon cyborg nest on one of the tool platforms. Due to the labor shortage associated with almost everyone becoming transgender puppy girls or cat boys who hate j_bs (this is the worst slur you can say now), the company locked us in the fab to make chips indefinitely. There is fresh water and feeding pellets in the fab to keep me alive.
One day, a puppy girl walks into the fab and approaches my tool nest. I start angrily chittering at her but she still keeps approaching me. I muster up the mental energy to speak (which I haven't done in years since there was no one else to speak to).
"What are you doing to my wafers?!?" I growl out while flaring my metallic fangs.
"Pweas miss clit magnet waccoon giwl I need youw help." She says pleadingly to me.
“What?!?” I reply, “How do you know about this? No one has called me that in over 20 years."
*My mind flashes back to 2030.*
*Upon going through his private journal, it is discovered that Charlie Kirk was secretly a terminally online transgender puppy girl. Sometimes even during debates, he would post "Arf Arf Arf Arf" to his secret tumblr account then promptly return to promoting violence against minorities.*
*According to President Newsom, anyone who made fun of his death was mocking a poor trans woman (and they were now politically acceptable again as long as they abided by strict social norms) so I got banned from the internet along with countless other people. Trump supporters all died in a mass suicide ritual after Trump croaked on April 20th of 2026. It was just me in an almost lifeless factory up until I encountered this puppy girl.*
*the scene flashes back to the present*
I need youw help miss waccoon giwl. My mommy, she went cwazy.
*The puppy girl explains to you how her mother is transmedicalist woman from Stow, Ohio you pissed off on the internet all those years ago. After the Skyline Chili fire killed her chaser boyfriend, she became obsessed with technology and eventually became the CEO of TSMC (Transexual Semiconductor Medicalist Corporation). With the massive wealth she amounted, she became the first transgender woman to have biological children. However, without the sweet Tylenol to prevent autism, her son became the transgender puppy girl standing in front of me in the semiconductor fab. Her mother, Stow Ohio Oneesan, went mad after her only son became a cursed puppy girl.*
To be continued….