There’s gotta be a "How to Be Human" class I missed, because why is it genuinely rare when I’m not awkward

Fine men all over the country, but not where I am? Rude.

I don’t like big weddings, but deep down I know my mom’s gonna turn it into the Olympics opening ceremony

"You want to see a therapist? The only therapy you need is a slap and a good talking to. Now come help me in the kitchen.”
- my mom 💔

I'm not fat btw my organs are just big 😏

If he ain’t eating you like you're the last plate of injera at a party, then what’s even the point?

This is why I gym😤

"If gravity can pull an apple, you can pull fine shyt, stay woke"

-Isaac Newton

"fuckkk I missed you" while sliding in>>>>

I don't usually date but when I do, i date the wrong person

@naughtiesonly

Yk that feeling when u meet smn and your heart skips a beat?

Yea, that's arrhythmia.
U can die from that

U ever met somebody that lies for no reason? Just walking around with liabetes

@naughtiesonly

Me allowing her to manipulate me because I've never seen this playstyle before and i need to learn it so i can add it to my skill set

Whoever's getting cuddles tonight I hope you fall off the bed

@naughtiesonly

Good morning, my beautiful people 💛
Hope today treats you kindly.🧚🏾

Good morning but at what cost?

First date Idea we deactivate your Instagram