More phone calls are made by telemarketers and autodiallers today than people sincerely trying to reach out to other people.

https://redd.it/1ngaitm

To fall asleep, you must first pretend to be asleep.

https://redd.it/1ngitqy

Rose only loved Jack because he didn't live long enough to disappoint her.

https://redd.it/1ngo24b

People who rent storage lockers probably end up paying several times the cost of the contents.

https://redd.it/1ngqbc4

Multiple choice tests having a "don't know" option that provides a fractional point would reward honesty and let teachers know where students need help!

https://redd.it/1ngynt8

A planned encore isn't really an encore, it's just part of the set.

https://redd.it/1nh164k

Every time someone farts while walking, the force of the fart saves their legs and infinitesimal bit of energy.

https://redd.it/1nhdept

If you know you're alone in the middle of the night it's not really scary. It's the "what if I'm not alone" that makes it scary

https://redd.it/1ni5a33

Saying “you’re quite self-aware” is a unique and fool proof compliment. If they are, they’ll agree. If they’re not, they won’t realize.

https://redd.it/1nifyoi

The ability to Google things instantly on my phone has probably saved me weeks of my life that would have otherwise been spent arguing with people about trivial facts.

https://redd.it/1nigl71

You know you moved on from someone when you delete their pics just to free up storage.

https://redd.it/1nikwpz

Sitting at a bar, staring at a pay to charge your phone kiosk and thinking, is this what payphones have become?

https://redd.it/1nimw1t

Today is 9/16/25 or (3x3) (4x4) (5x5) and how often does that happen! I love Numbers!

https://redd.it/1nisb7d

Online communities could altruistically choose to popularize random people in poverty and make a surge of memes about them periodically to raise them out of poverty.

https://redd.it/1nijns6

If the sentient cars in the movie 'Cars' depict other vehicles like tractors as 'animals' (cows), then they must have spontaneously and rapidly evolved as a species within the last 100 years, with Lizzie being one of the original propegators as horses/carriages must not have existed at all.

https://redd.it/1njli21

As far as we know, non-human animals have zero awareness of the fact that they have ancestors aside from their own parent(s).

https://redd.it/1nkd0ti

Maybe dogs don't really like being petted by humans. Maybe we just bred them to be really, really itchy.

https://redd.it/1nkew4x

So-called "smart" devices are typically more complex, less reliable, and rarely actually smart.

https://redd.it/1nkm953

The vast majority of rules are in place to keep dumb people safe.

https://redd.it/1nkwqk7

It’s been a while since zombies climbed out of their graves.

https://redd.it/1nl4c6o