Already tomorrow is the first day in Melbourne (Australia) of my solo exhibition "NOISE"
More than half of the paintings and sculptures are already sold, was on the radio on Australia's main SBS TV channel,
Saw thousands of bats in the park in the trees.
More than half of the paintings and sculptures are already sold, was on the radio on Australia's main SBS TV channel,
Saw thousands of bats in the park in the trees.
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A short story about Australia
and the nature of my project.
First it is important to realise that the "NOISE" exhibition was born as an extension of my artistic style of "survitrialism", where technology, distortions of reality (dreams) and physical presence are the foundation upon which all my work sprouts. My new exhibition is created in partnership with the diffusion model, where first there was noise and then form, literally like our imagination. Imagine! My skills learnt at the academy, where light shading, anatomy, construction were used on equal footing with artificial intelligence and the knowledge I have been acquiring for the last 1.5 years (subsequently shared with you on courses).
Regarding the warm and incredibly powerful meeting at the Beinart gallery in Melbourne: Yes! I seem to have found the best way to feel at home everywhere, just imagine hundreds of people in one of the most distant places in the world came to the exhibition, spent their day off on me, gave me attention, their eyes, questions, smiles, stood in the queue before the opening and literally scorched with happiness, with joy that there is no corner in the world where I will not be welcome, where I will not find my friends. I even managed to do 2 different interviews for Australia's main TV channel SBS, which you can listen to at this and this link.
and the nature of my project.
First it is important to realise that the "NOISE" exhibition was born as an extension of my artistic style of "survitrialism", where technology, distortions of reality (dreams) and physical presence are the foundation upon which all my work sprouts. My new exhibition is created in partnership with the diffusion model, where first there was noise and then form, literally like our imagination. Imagine! My skills learnt at the academy, where light shading, anatomy, construction were used on equal footing with artificial intelligence and the knowledge I have been acquiring for the last 1.5 years (subsequently shared with you on courses).
Regarding the warm and incredibly powerful meeting at the Beinart gallery in Melbourne: Yes! I seem to have found the best way to feel at home everywhere, just imagine hundreds of people in one of the most distant places in the world came to the exhibition, spent their day off on me, gave me attention, their eyes, questions, smiles, stood in the queue before the opening and literally scorched with happiness, with joy that there is no corner in the world where I will not be welcome, where I will not find my friends. I even managed to do 2 different interviews for Australia's main TV channel SBS, which you can listen to at this and this link.
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It seems like I just flew to Australia and I'm already back in Bangkok. In fact, it's been 20 days since I've been here, alone. Time has lost its meaning.
Hi, it's Ellen.
Yes, looking at the dates, I really have been away for a long time. But for me, it feels like yesterday. It seems like only yesterday I was writing to you, and between "yesterday" and "today" I moved into my workshop.
My first workshop in 29 years and 10 months. I've never organised my space separately from my home, and now I've realised that I have a place for everyone.
Artist's Notes:
- For 3 weeks I've been working on the concept of new paintings and destroying them. I can't get the gist of the idea. What do the paintings mean to me, what do I want to say with them? So today I threw out all the sketches again and started over.
- My schedule: no phone, email, calls or friends from 9am to 5pm weekdays. Of course I stay longer, sometimes until 1 a.m., but I never leave early.
- Weekends are a time for myself. I lock my studio door and don't come back until Monday.
- Sundays are dedicated to photography: I'm thinking up sets or processing the backlog of images.
The workshop experience is incredible: here I can be afraid, make mistakes and start again, because tomorrow will be my 9am to 5pm time again.
And I really want to talk to you, send me questions and I'll try to answer them, maybe I have something to tell you.
Hi, it's Ellen.
Yes, looking at the dates, I really have been away for a long time. But for me, it feels like yesterday. It seems like only yesterday I was writing to you, and between "yesterday" and "today" I moved into my workshop.
My first workshop in 29 years and 10 months. I've never organised my space separately from my home, and now I've realised that I have a place for everyone.
Artist's Notes:
- For 3 weeks I've been working on the concept of new paintings and destroying them. I can't get the gist of the idea. What do the paintings mean to me, what do I want to say with them? So today I threw out all the sketches again and started over.
- My schedule: no phone, email, calls or friends from 9am to 5pm weekdays. Of course I stay longer, sometimes until 1 a.m., but I never leave early.
- Weekends are a time for myself. I lock my studio door and don't come back until Monday.
- Sundays are dedicated to photography: I'm thinking up sets or processing the backlog of images.
The workshop experience is incredible: here I can be afraid, make mistakes and start again, because tomorrow will be my 9am to 5pm time again.
And I really want to talk to you, send me questions and I'll try to answer them, maybe I have something to tell you.
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Hi
And that's the Answer-question!
Thank you for calling me Ellen, I really appreciate that name and those who address me that way. Thank you for your questions. I've prepared my answers as if I'm leading you through the whole story of my inner world and what I notice in myself.
I am simple in expressing my feelings, so my answers will reflect the wetness of my experience, the contradictions and internal dialogues that are talking loudly in my head.
I read the questions out loud:
- "I can't understand the idea. What do the paintings mean to me, what do I want to say with them?"
Ellen, why do you want to speak? As a person and as an artist, why?
My goal: to become a master at turning complex emotions into physical objects. Through conversations, diaries and your question, I am trying to understand how emotional states can be depicted and discussed through art objects. When conflict arises in real life, it's like I find myself in a room where someone is listening to me but not responding. I start talking to myself, reflecting the words back into my mouth, choking on contradictions and fears. The person is my art.
I am demanding! There is this frenetic creator hidden in every artist, where dialogue takes the form of a work and becomes audible. We are verbal people, and language of expression is a key part of understanding and communicating that understanding. I search for the kind of conversation in which I can find silence and a secret. An image that teaches me a new curiosity. What do I say to a person? I will support you, listen to you and, if you ask, share with you. What am I saying as an artist? The same thing, but with a completely different meaning.
Life and art are closely intertwined. And to these two identical answers, I left completely different meanings. It's these different meanings in dialogue with the paintings that I'm looking for.
-Ellen. Tell me, please share. What does it feel like to be loved? To act from a position of "absolute love" outwardly inwardly.
Love. I am now focusing on adult love, where vulnerability to reciprocal feelings diminishes in importance and comes under the control of your conscious state. "I love you even if you don't love me" is the direction I want to explore in my art over the next five years.
"I need attention, love" - why? "I need your support, don't you understand how hard this is for me?" - Why?
I feel like talking to myself again. I ask myself a lot of questions and answer them in the third person. We can wait so long for love on the outside that we don't learn to find it on the inside. But when it's on the inside, it's reflected on the outside. I feel like I'm repeating words we've heard before. But I'll tell you this with a special phrase I gift you for your question.
If you find a mole on your body at first sight, it's the mole that triggers love throughout your body. Press on when you want to remember that feeling, go back to it, and soak it into your whole body.
I love you.
-how to believe in your art?
There is an endless swarm of thoughts that no one needs my art and that's why I haven't picked up a brush in years.
I think about this often, especially when my work gets stuck in the sketching stage, like now. You know, because our studio is with Pokras Lampasas, and he comes into my part of the space, he sees me struggling with these doubts.
I can't hide, there's already one viewer. And he said an interesting thing to me.
"Why not transfer the sketches to larger sheets, use paints and liners? As long as they stay small and confined in a sketchbook, they are only visible to you. It's safe, but it limits the possibilities. If you transfer them to big canvases, big sheets, they get a chance to have a life of their own and you can really evaluate, combine and realise what the final work will be in your next exhibition."
And I agreed with my heart. Belief in your creativity begins the moment you allow your work to exist outside of your personal space. Even a simple change of tools from pencil to pen can spark new ideas.
And that's the Answer-question!
Thank you for calling me Ellen, I really appreciate that name and those who address me that way. Thank you for your questions. I've prepared my answers as if I'm leading you through the whole story of my inner world and what I notice in myself.
I am simple in expressing my feelings, so my answers will reflect the wetness of my experience, the contradictions and internal dialogues that are talking loudly in my head.
I read the questions out loud:
- "I can't understand the idea. What do the paintings mean to me, what do I want to say with them?"
Ellen, why do you want to speak? As a person and as an artist, why?
My goal: to become a master at turning complex emotions into physical objects. Through conversations, diaries and your question, I am trying to understand how emotional states can be depicted and discussed through art objects. When conflict arises in real life, it's like I find myself in a room where someone is listening to me but not responding. I start talking to myself, reflecting the words back into my mouth, choking on contradictions and fears. The person is my art.
I am demanding! There is this frenetic creator hidden in every artist, where dialogue takes the form of a work and becomes audible. We are verbal people, and language of expression is a key part of understanding and communicating that understanding. I search for the kind of conversation in which I can find silence and a secret. An image that teaches me a new curiosity. What do I say to a person? I will support you, listen to you and, if you ask, share with you. What am I saying as an artist? The same thing, but with a completely different meaning.
Life and art are closely intertwined. And to these two identical answers, I left completely different meanings. It's these different meanings in dialogue with the paintings that I'm looking for.
-Ellen. Tell me, please share. What does it feel like to be loved? To act from a position of "absolute love" outwardly inwardly.
Love. I am now focusing on adult love, where vulnerability to reciprocal feelings diminishes in importance and comes under the control of your conscious state. "I love you even if you don't love me" is the direction I want to explore in my art over the next five years.
"I need attention, love" - why? "I need your support, don't you understand how hard this is for me?" - Why?
I feel like talking to myself again. I ask myself a lot of questions and answer them in the third person. We can wait so long for love on the outside that we don't learn to find it on the inside. But when it's on the inside, it's reflected on the outside. I feel like I'm repeating words we've heard before. But I'll tell you this with a special phrase I gift you for your question.
If you find a mole on your body at first sight, it's the mole that triggers love throughout your body. Press on when you want to remember that feeling, go back to it, and soak it into your whole body.
I love you.
-how to believe in your art?
There is an endless swarm of thoughts that no one needs my art and that's why I haven't picked up a brush in years.
I think about this often, especially when my work gets stuck in the sketching stage, like now. You know, because our studio is with Pokras Lampasas, and he comes into my part of the space, he sees me struggling with these doubts.
I can't hide, there's already one viewer. And he said an interesting thing to me.
"Why not transfer the sketches to larger sheets, use paints and liners? As long as they stay small and confined in a sketchbook, they are only visible to you. It's safe, but it limits the possibilities. If you transfer them to big canvases, big sheets, they get a chance to have a life of their own and you can really evaluate, combine and realise what the final work will be in your next exhibition."
And I agreed with my heart. Belief in your creativity begins the moment you allow your work to exist outside of your personal space. Even a simple change of tools from pencil to pen can spark new ideas.
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