I just finished Tahajjud and I’m still sitting on my prayer mat, reflecting. A thought crossed my mind: last year around this same time, I used to spend these hours pouring my heart into duas, asking Allah SWT for things I thought were good for me, though they were not.

When Allah doesn’t grant us something, it’s not rejection, it’s redirection. It is a mercy (only for the ones who can see it). Back then, I believed that if I prayed hard enough, if I never missed Tahajjud, then surely what I wanted would become good for me. And in a way, I did receive it… but at what cost? That was a lesson in itself. Subhan Allah.

Tahajjud is beautiful. Dua is beautiful. And now, my prayers are different. I no longer ask for what I think is best. I ask only for what is truly of khayr for me, because I don’t know, but Allah does. He knows, He sees, He cares. And so I trust Him. I rely on Him. Always.

P.S. May Allah grant us what is best for us, in the best form and at the best time. And may He never let our hearts become attached to what is not ours.

My biggest flex?

I’m not afraid to let people walk out of my life. Disrespect me once, and I’ll cut you off like you never existed. For real!

I’ve learned that my peace is non-negotiable.

P.S. You don’t deserve to know how I made it to the shore if you left me in the middle of the storm.

P.S.1. Access to me is a privilege. Disrespect me once, and you’ll never have that privilege again.

No, I’m not full of myself. I just know how much love and kindness I pour into the people I care about. And if you still mess that up? You don’t deserve it.

The book I'm currently reading (yes, I’m reading a few at once 😅) is in Turkish but I’ll try to share what I’m learning with you bit by bit in English.

What really caught my attention is the different names or layers of the "Qalb" (which we usually just translate as "heart" in English). I had no idea there were other names used in the Qur’an that describe the heart from different angles, and it honestly helped me understand myself better too.

Sadr refers to the outer part of the inner self, literally the "chest." It's the place where thoughts and emotions start to appear. It’s also where openness or constriction can happen. In the Qur’an, it’s described as the space where either guidance or misguidance first enters.

“أَلَمْ نَشْرَحْ لَكَ صَدْرَكَ”
“Did We not expand for you your breast (ṣadr)?”
(Surah Ash-Sharh, 94:1)

“فَمَن يُرِدِ ٱللَّهُ أَن يَهْدِيَهُ يَشْرَحْ صَدْرَهُ لِلْإِسْلَـٰمِ”
“So whoever Allah wants to guide, He opens his breast (ṣadr) to Islam.”
(Surah Al-An’am, 6:125)

Then there’s Fu’ād, which is more about the emotional heart, the part of us that feels deeply, that burns with longing or grief. It's mentioned as something we’ll be held accountable for.

“إِنَّ ٱلسَّمْعَ وَٱلْبَصَرَ وَٱلْفُؤَادَ كُلُّ أُو۟لَـٰٓئِكَ كَانَ عَنْهُ مَسْـُٔولًا”
“Indeed, the hearing, the sight, and the heart (fuʾād), all will be questioned about.”
(Surah Al-Isra, 17:36)

So fu’ād is not just about emotion, it’s about deep internal experiences that we’re responsible for too.

Next is Lubb, and this one really fascinated me. It’s described as the innermost core, the pure heart, the part of us where wisdom, sincerity, and true understanding live. It’s mentioned in the Qur’an with the phrase ulul albab (people of deep insight).

“إِنَّ فِى ذَٰلِكَ لَذِكْرَىٰ لِأُو۟لِى ٱلْأَلْبَـٰبِ”
“Indeed in that is a reminder for people of insight (ulū al-albāb).”
(Surah Al-Ra’d, 13:19)

Lubb is like the heart of the heart, the place where truth really lands, where reflection and sincerity happen.

And of course, the word we hear most often is Qalb. It's the main term for "heart" in the Qur’an, but it’s much deeper than just feelings. It’s the center of faith, of understanding, and of turning, because qalb actually means “to turn” in Arabic. The heart turns, it flips, it changes. And the goal is for it to turn towards truth.

So the qalb can be pure or diseased, guided or misguided, it’s the part of us that needs constant care and attention.

P.S. I hope you will find this helpful as well.

Tell people about your religion without the use of your tongue.

Imam Jafar Al-sadiq (R.a.)

A timeless reminder: Be the message before you deliver it.

Just sitting in the office, made some green tea and offered it around 🍵

As I’m sipping now, I started thinking about how much tea actually means to me.

Then I randomly started reading about tea’s history, and it’s so interesting how deep it actually goes.

Apparently, all real tea (like green, black, oolong, white, etc.) comes from one single plant called Camellia sinensis. Isn't it interesting?! It's the same tree, the only difference is how the leaves are processed after being picked. Some are steamed (like green tea), some are oxidized (like black tea), and some are just dried gently (like white tea). Like different personalities of the same plant.

Imagine, back in ancient China, an emperor named Shennong was boiling water when some tea leaves accidentally fell into the pot. What happened next?Well, apparently, he drank it and loved it, and just like that, tea was born.

Later, monks brought tea to Japan. It eventually made its way through Central Asia and the Middle East, and then into India, though funny enough, India didn’t drink much tea until the British came and started plantations.

Anyway… back to my green tea before it gets cold :) Just felt like sharing this random reflection.

P.S. I genuinely love oolong, white tea, and green tea (especially green tea+lemon heheh).