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Forwarded from Eldana
I think you'd like this story: "Mister Popular's Little Sister" by dancinginsunlight on Wattpad https://my.w.tt/yGRGtPEtO8
Forwarded from Marisha Pandey
I think you'd like this story: "Colossal Dreams" by Marisha_Pandey on Wattpad https://my.w.tt/wVo8tYNkM8
Helloww 😊
If you are a writer and you are having trouble writing about something, a scene, a dialogue or a chapter I can help you out! I'm no professional but i helped out some friends before and it turned out great so hit me up @istolethecookiez
Forwarded from Davin 40
The year of skinny pop and sugar free jello cups
We guzzled vitamin water and vodka
Toasting to high school and survival
Complimenting each other's thigh gaps
Trying diets we found on the internet
Menthol cigarettes
Eating in front of a mirror
Donating blood
Replacing meals with other practical hobbies
Like making flower crowns or fainting
Wondering why I haven't had my period in months
Or why breakfast tastes like giving up
Or how many more productive ways I could have spent my time today besides googling the calories in the glue of a U.S. envelope
Watching Americas Next Top Model like the gospel
Hunching naked over a bathroom scale shrine
Crying into an empty bowl of Coco Puffs because I only feel pretty when I'm hungry
If you are not recovering, you are dying
By the time I was 16 I had already experienced being clinically overweight, underweight, and obese
As a child "fat" was the first word people used to describe me which didn't offend me
Until I found out it was supposed to
When I lost weight my dad was so proud he stared carrying around my before and after photo in his wallet
So relieved he could stop worrying about me getting diabetes
He saw a program on the news about an epidemic with obesity
Said he is just so glad to finally see me taking care of myself
If you develop and eating disorder when you are already thin to begin with, you go to the hospital
If you develop an eating disorder when you are not thin to begin with, you are a success story
So when I evaporated, of course everyone congratulated me on getting healthy
Girls at school who never spoke to me before stopped me in the hallway to ask how I did it
I say "I am sick"
They say "No, you're an inspiration"
How could I not fall in love with my illness
With becoming the kind of silhouette people are supposed to fall in love with
Why would I ever want to stop being hungry when anorexia was the most interesting thing about me
So how lucky it is now to be boring
The way not going to the hospital is boring
The way looking at an apple and only seeing an apple, not 60 or half an hour of sit-ups is boring
My story may not be as exciting as it used to but at least there is nothing left to count
The calculator in my head finally stopped
I used to love the feeling of drinking water on an empty stomach
Waiting for the coolness to slip all the way down and land in the well
Not obsessed with being empty but afraid of being full
I used to feel cold
I used to feel proud when I was cold in a warm room
Now I am proud I have stopped seeking revenge on this body
This was the year of eating when I was hungry without punishing myself
And I know it sounds ridiculous but that shit is hard
When I was little someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up and I said "small"
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2025/10/22 03:58:27
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