'I wonder what surviving human held the record before balloons (excluding edge cases like jumping gaps on a mountain bridge). Probably it was someone falling from a cliff into snow or water, but maybe it involved something weird like a gunpowder explosion or volcano.'
'They're continuing to search for a square with the same area as the circle, as efforts to construct one have run into difficulties.'
'Update: I've been banned from the physics department for the way I pronounce "Doppler effect."'
'They should add a little sticker that certifies that the humidifier supports water conservation, but in the sense of energy conservation or momentum conservation.'