'If you have an old phone in a drawer, and you listen very carefully, you can occasionally hear the occasional tap of an emitted SIM card hitting the side of the drawer as the phone transmutes to a lower-end model.'

3072. "Stargazing 4"

'We haven't actually seen a star fall in since we invented telescopes, but I have a list of ones I'm really hoping are next.'

3073. "Tariffs"

'[later] I don't get why our pizza slices have such terrible reviews; the geotextile-infused sauce gives the toppings incredible slope stability!'

3074. "Push Notifications"

'NOTIFICATION: Now dismissing a head of the Notification Hydra… NOTIFICATION: Success! You have dismissed a head of the Notification Hydra!'

3075. "Anachronym Challenge"

'I have to pay with paper money.'

3076. "The Roads Both Taken"

'When you worry that you're missing out on something by not making both choices simultaneously by quantum superposition, that's called phomo.'

3077. "de Sitter"

'Our anti-de Sitter club is small at the moment, but I've started corresponding with the conformal field theory people.'

3078. "Anchor Screws"