i know i've been too active for the last couple days. it's because im sick and staying at home having no energy or desire to do anything else. so meanwhile why not keep you guys and myself entertained. hehe. so here's another little story.

the other day i was with the guys for a lunch and this one guy, whose behavior i really dont approve of, also came along and joined us (for simplicity reasons let's call him "the guy''). so we were sitting around the table and the host served the dish (palov hehe). and "the guy", as he always does, started his usual gossiping ritual about every single soul in the uzbek community here in our university. who is fucking whom, who is a whore, and who is gay, who is lesbian, who is dating who... like literally all the inside information you can possibly think of and beyond. and there was no single soul to tell him to shut the fuck up. bcuz they were all enjoying the fresh gossips. for me it really looked disgusting. i can never understand this community. even the men. why would anyone really care about other people's personal lives, let alone their sex affairs and orientations. i mean, what the actual fuck is wrong with you, guys? it's as if they think of themselves as the lord's innocent saint angels on earth.

morale of the story: dont be a dick and start taking care of yourself before following other people's asses.

thank you for listening to my bedtime story. good night!🐻‍❄️

@kitobqurti

​​when you ask a man how he is doing, he simply says "I'm alright". but you know what? that man is not alright. he's battling demons that you can't even possibly imagine. that man is struggling every single day to find a reason to keep going. and why we say "im alright" is because, as men, we do know that nobody really fucking cares what you're going through. so why bother to tell how you're actually feeling anyway?! because you're a man. you're not supposed to show weakness no matter how hard the life gets. but you know what? i feel you, brother. because, im "alright" too.

@kitobqurti

buni sizga hech kim aytmaydi. lekin,

deyarli lyuboy kitobni wikipediyaga yozsangiz o'sha kitobning eng asosiy fikr va g'oyalari jamlangan to'liq summarysi chiqadi.

masalan, juda ko'p kitoblar vaqt sarflab o'qishga arzimaydi. shunchaki summarysini o'qishning o'zi kifoya.

thank me later🐻‍❄️

@kitobqurti

​​when it's just you against the world

if it doesn't feel right, you dont have to stick with the traditions or whatever the society uniformly outlined for everyone. you can and, perhaps, should take a different route in life and there's nothing wrong with it. if you can't see yourself in a happy marriage, you can always turn to friendship instead. if the society won't give you the dignity you deserve and you feel outed, then maybe you can find a group of fellow outcasts. if you don't want children in life, you can always channel your love to your loved ones, or a pet you adore. the point is you dont have to change a part of yourself to fit in the society. you can always choose to be a rebel, the black sheep or the madlad. if you believe this makes your otherwise miserable and grim life a bit more meaningful, then go for it. dont just sit and accept your fate. life has way more to offer than what the society made you believe.

@kitobqurti

when i was a little child, this epic movie came out, called "the lord of the rings". and no wonder, after watching the movie, all i wanted to become was the elves - the wisest, immortal and the fairest of all creatures. but now, as the years passed, all i want is to live like a hobbit in the shire, minding my own business, doing gardening and cooking, and partying with friends in my hobbithole. these folks truly know how to live their lives peacefully and to the fullest.

@kitobqurti

​​"but, did you die?!"

it's what you feel like the life is saying to you after raping you like a maniac. at such moments, your only refuge can be nothing but sleep; if you're lucky to fall and stay asleep, of course. you just want to silence the voices in your mind. but they're too loud. they will keep you up all night. you cannot run from them, nor completely silence them. there's no escape. then you turn to music, your old friend. play it even louder. so than you wont hear the voices anymore. but, you know what? it drains you. you can't carry on any more like this and collapse onto your bed, like a dead leaf. and yet, the life contemptuously keeps laughing at you - "but, did you die?!".

@kitobqurti

men ham borgan sari dada bo'pqolyapman. chunki tipichniy dadalar eshitadigan shunaqa qo'shiqlarni eshitish menga yoqyapti.

help🥲

@kitobqurti

​​sen ham sekin-asta dada bo'lib bo'rayotganingni anglaysan (uylanmagan, bola-chaqali bo'lmasang ham), qachonki:

aravani to'ldirib meva-cheva, shirinliklar sotib olasan-u, lekin o'zing tatib ham ko'rmaysan;

o'zingning tashvishlaringdan ko'ra yaqinlaringniki muhimroq bo'lib boradi;

endi sen faqat o'zing uchun yashamaysan. senga umid bilan termulgan qora ko'zlarni ham o'ylaysan;

bir ma'noda, endi sen haloskor - qahramonsan. va albatta, bundan rohatlanasan.

va eng asosiysi, sen ham boshqa tipichniy dadalar kabi anunaqa ezma qo'shiqlarni eshitishni boshlaysan.

dada bo'lish qiyin va har kim ham buni eplay olmaydi. lekin, eplaganlar - ana o'shalar haqiqiy qahramonlar.

@kitobqurti

​​ba'zan telegramga kirsam, onajon "typing" turgan bo'ladilar. kutaman, kutaman, anchagacha typing. keyin bir chiqib kirsam ham typing. uf ishqilib tinchlik bo'lsinda, deb qo'yaman ichimda. "typing" qancha uzoq tursa, mendagi anxiety shuncha kuchayadi. keyin typing o'chib orqasidan sms keladi. yuragimi hovuchlab smsni ochaman. uzuuuuun duo qilib yozib yuborgan bo'ladilar. moooooommmm!!!😭 i love you🥺 i really dont deserve this woman🥲

@kitobqurti

i was in the library today. and they were playing this tune on the background. i felt something strange the moment it started playing. like nothing i ever felt before.

enjoy.

@kitobqurti

i literally have 10+ chapters from math to catch up with. am i overwhelmed? absolutely. am i crying? yes i think so. am i still gonna try my best? fuck yes!! but i need to eat something first and sit down and start reviewing. as long as i can create a momentum i'll finish it all in no time. i got this. ok bye!

@kitobqurti

and this December we're healing from the things we dont talk about

@kitobqurti

confession time

today i didnt go to my class and attended thru zoom instead and i lied to my professor that i had fever and thats why i couldn't go to the classroom. but in fact, i did not have fever. i just didn't want to go all the way to the campus in this freezing cold. may god forgive me. ok bye.

@kitobqurti

​​story time

so you know i was preparing for TOPIK (yes i know, it's taking forever) and i was using a textbook from the library. but it really sucks sometimes when you cannot prolong the book and have to return it, bcuz some other mf reserves it too. and finally i said fuck it and decided to buy a new one of my very own. and i checked all the offers online. and found a few good deals on our good old "alladin used books store". they never disappointed me so far and also the prices were reasonable as always. in fact i bought a book in excellent condition for the half price (right, student life). and it arrived today. and you guessed it, it is in perfect condition.

moral of the story. i dont know. maybe, go buy an old book or something. (seriously. why do i always have to come up with a moral for my stories??)

thanks for reading my bed time story. bye!

@kitobqurti

story time

so there's this guy. he's my favorite human. in fact, he's the only human i interact with everyday. and so am i for him. we're like best friends or brothers. but when we first met we only talked in english for quite a while for no apparent reason (i know thats cringe). and when we finally spoke uzbek we were both surprised bcuz it sounded so... umm.. cute? (i couldn't find another way to put it, honestly). he was like "omg you sound so cute in uzbek". and im like "oh i know right😌 and you too". i still dont get it. this happens with so many other people too.

so the moral of the story: seriously im done with this morals!😐

thanks for reading my weird morning story! have a good day🐻‍❄️

@kitobqurti

They may not be around any more. But their presence still lingers in the melodies they left behind...

Neyim bor edi sendan boshqa?..

@kitobqurti

- what's wrong?
- i... i miss her...
- even after all this time?!
- always...

@kitobqurti

story time

i woke up early for my morning lecture today and after having breakfast i dressed up like the sexy bitch that i am. and came to the classroom. but the students looked strangely unfamiliar. but still i took a seat and waited for the professor to come and start the lecture. and there he came but he was not my professor. it was a different man. then i looked at my friend in confusion. he gave me the same look. then we realized we were in the wrong classroom (hihi). it turns out, today's lecture was cancelled. but we had no idea. but still i was happy bcuz i woke up early because of that. which is nice. alright i need to study for finals now. ok bye!

moral of the story: wake up early and always check you class announcements

@kitobqurti

Bookworm tugatilishi to'g'risida

Bookworm hech qachon mening shaxsiy g'oyam bo'lmagan. Uni yaqin insonim bilan birga yaratganmiz. Boshida u bilan birga yozdik. Birga harakat qildik. Afsuski, kun kelib u bilan xayrlashishimga to'g'ri keldi. Ammo, shundan keyin bookworm oldingidek bo'lolmadi. Qancha harakat qilmay, qaytib oldingidek yozolmadim. Shu sababdan, bookwormni birato'la to'xtatishga qaror qildim.
Shu o'tgan 3 yil ichida bookwormni yolg'izlatmagan siz azizlarga cheksiz tashakkur aytaman. Aloqa botiga keladigan iliq xabarlaringiz men uchun bir olam ahamiyatga ega. Ularni doim qadrlaganman. Vaqtiki kelib yodingizga tushib qolsam, meni yana shu botdan toparsiz. Uni o'chirmoqchi emasman. Yana alohida aytishim kerak, shu o'tgan davr ichida aynan bookworm sabab juda ko'p chin do'stlar ortdirdim. @mahinsworld - Mahinim va @kitobooknigam - eng ardoqlaganlarim. Barchangizdan cheksiz minnatdorman.
Yaxshiyam borsiz, yaxshilar!

Iliq samimiyat va ulkan hurmat ila,

sizning kitobqurti yozdim.

E'tiboringiz uchun rahmat!
2021.12.12
J.Koreya

happy reading!
@kitobqurti